Super Lupie?

Looking at my original schedule this semester, I had a thought. Why is that I feel the need to try and be superwoman all the time? One thing I realized was that I feel the need to do more than most “normal” people in an attempt to show that being sick can’t stop me from doing anything. Maybe not everyone does this but I certainly know some people that do.

I’ve always had a strong motivation and desire to succeed and really, that’s all I thought this was. But then I really thought about it – look at college. The normal enrollment was 16 credits I believe and the maximum you could take without permission was 18. So I took 17 or 18 every semester until my last one when I got seriously sick. I could have graduated in 3 years but I stayed an extra year. Who does that?!? Yea it was fun and I took some really fun and interesting courses that last year but it was really hard work to get to that point. “Normal” people graduate in 4 years, I managed to finish everything in 3. Many of those facing challenges take longer than 4 years. Law school was almost the same way, I keep taking these classes that I know are going to be extremely difficult and taxing but I do it anyway. It’s my last year and I changed my schedule to make it harder without even realizing it. Go me!

I finally fixed everything and made my life a whole lot easier but it definitely made me stop and think whether I do these things because of my own ambition or because I’m sick. Conclusion: both. I will always tell myself I can do better, I can push farther but I will also always want to tell everyone “Hey look what I can do!” in an effort to show that my disability doesn’t run my life. I’ve decided I need to back off on that second one now – I’ve more than proved myself at this point in my life and now it’s time to focus on what’s best for me.

Everyone have a wonderful, safe, and warm week!

Published in: on January 17, 2012 at 10:16 am  Comments (2)  
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