Super Lupie?

Looking at my original schedule this semester, I had a thought. Why is that I feel the need to try and be superwoman all the time? One thing I realized was that I feel the need to do more than most “normal” people in an attempt to show that being sick can’t stop me from doing anything. Maybe not everyone does this but I certainly know some people that do.

I’ve always had a strong motivation and desire to succeed and really, that’s all I thought this was. But then I really thought about it – look at college. The normal enrollment was 16 credits I believe and the maximum you could take without permission was 18. So I took 17 or 18 every semester until my last one when I got seriously sick. I could have graduated in 3 years but I stayed an extra year. Who does that?!? Yea it was fun and I took some really fun and interesting courses that last year but it was really hard work to get to that point. “Normal” people graduate in 4 years, I managed to finish everything in 3. Many of those facing challenges take longer than 4 years. Law school was almost the same way, I keep taking these classes that I know are going to be extremely difficult and taxing but I do it anyway. It’s my last year and I changed my schedule to make it harder without even realizing it. Go me!

I finally fixed everything and made my life a whole lot easier but it definitely made me stop and think whether I do these things because of my own ambition or because I’m sick. Conclusion: both. I will always tell myself I can do better, I can push farther but I will also always want to tell everyone “Hey look what I can do!” in an effort to show that my disability doesn’t run my life. I’ve decided I need to back off on that second one now – I’ve more than proved myself at this point in my life and now it’s time to focus on what’s best for me.

Everyone have a wonderful, safe, and warm week!

Advertisements
Published in: on January 17, 2012 at 10:16 am  Comments (2)  
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

The URI to TrackBack this entry is: https://alupielife.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/super-lupie/trackback/

RSS feed for comments on this post.

2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I really enjoyed reading your blog. I was diagnosed with lupus in October after having the symptoms for a while. I have been struggling to find a doctor here that treats lupus patients. I finally found a doctor which is great. I having been struggling to deal with everything that comes along with lupus…. No one understands it because I don’t look sick on the outside expect for the some rashes that pop up. I feel so alone because I feel like my life as I once knew it has changed so much. I do my best to stay positive. I know Godmis only allowing me to go through because he knows I can handle it… I keep my faith I God because I know he will take care of me end on my bad days (like today).

    • Thank you for reading! I completely understand how you feel. People think we’re hypochondriacs most of the time until they really figure out what lupus is. I’m glad you found a doctor you like! I’ve switched several times because of doctors choosing to ignore symptoms that pop up. Having your faith and having hope that everything will get better is always a great mindset, don’t stop believing those things!

      Dani


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: